Essence of DOPE
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Like Me
Feb 5th
Ever since I was young
I have been blessed with a curse
Not too many people liked me
No really, see I think differently
Thus I attract glares and animosity
I like to think I am kind
Really, even movies I rewind
I go out of my way to help people
I have given people my last dollar
My credit card and keys to my house and car
My weakness is seeing people that are weak
Thinking that I could save them with love
And for that I have been hurt a lot
Though I can be vindictive
If you cross or try to get over on me
People that have wronged me
Have rued the wrath of Teddy
But overall I think I am a good guy
So why is it that I draw odium?
Standing ovation of ire on a podium
When I was seven in Ethiopia
In Lycee I was never in the in-crowd
I thought maybe because I wore fresh boots
My dad bought from me from Italy
Could it be they thought we were rich?
That’s it; the ire is because we were wealthy
No it can’t be, for we were never “loaded”
My parents always struggled to take care of us
So the illusion of money was just a chimera
Then we moved to America
Thought things would be different
Yet I attract the hatred More >
Habesha Mailbag
Feb 3rd
Welcome back for Habesha Mailbag 2.0
This is the second edition of the Habesha Mailbag; last week’s mailbag was a smashing success, time to build on the success.
by Teddy Fikre written: Friday, January 3rd, 2012
This is the second edition of the Habesha Mailbag; last week’s mailbag was a smashing success, time to build on the success.
Alright sewoch, endet nachew? Melkam Arb, Happy Friday, I bet you are ready to get the weekend popping after a long week of working. I feel you boo boos (yeah I know that is a bit feminine, but I am making it masculine). Anyway, it’s that time of the week where I interact with my readers and see what we come up with together. I am sure to laugh my Qit off while reading their questions and comments and then laugh my Qit off again while responding—what can I say, I know how to make myself laugh.
Now before we get to the emails. Since this is an article inspired by Bill Simmons, let me take a quick attempt to be a sports pundit. My prediction for the Super Bowl is that the little blue giants (aka the New York Viagra) will lose to the New England More >
Ray ena King Kong
Feb 2nd
I would rather have the warmth of Ray’s rays than the basking heat of envious and odious Ethiopian stars that refuse to believe in the essence of Hebret.
by Teddy Fikre written: Thursday, February 2nd, 2012
God damn, now I done did it finally. I finally stepped on a land mine by my incessant need to tap dance in land mines. Finally, after popping my collars in hurricanes it seems that Hurricane Habesha has blown my ass to kingdom come. I have been blown back to Kansas—Toto and I both windswept—and in the process I am left in dark lit corners yet again shivering from the judgmental cold breaths of folks that don’t know me. This is the risk I took a long time ago when I decided to speak up for those who don’t have a voice; I knew I would attract the enmity and hatred of folks who speak with voices of odium.
So what is it that I have done that got me and Toto blown back to Kansas you ask? Well today started off like any other day, I woke up early, did a few things on www.browncondor.com and headed out early to work—this time Teddisho would be on time More >
BC IPO
Feb 1st
Instead of throwing your money away to filthy rich corporations and enriching people like Mitt Romney, why not instead use $5 to invest in a fellow Ethiopian jegna?
by Teddy Fikre written: Tuesday, February 1st, 2012 Finally, after years of toil and struggle, after years of broken hearts and meaningful tears, the day has arrived. You see, a long time ago, I planted a seed in the ground. It was as though I was 7 years old back in Bole. Back then I used to plant corns in my back yard and then wait for it to grow on a daily basis. I never had patience; I would continue to dig in the ground to see if the corn was growing. 9 out of 10 times, the corn never grew because I did not give it time to sprout to life. My impatience has ended the life of hundreds of baby corns. I guess you can say I used to be a corn abortionist, I was Dr. Kevorkian of corns in Addis.
Now I know, you are saying to yourself, ende, ehe ibd, ahun degmo mendinew emyaraw (what is this crazy person talking about). What the hell does a corn in Bole More >
Senesrat!
Jan 31st
I miss the days of Senesrat, those days are long gone, all we have now are rabies infected hyenas; we will continue to bite each other throughout Facebook and twitter.
by Teddy Fikre written: Tuesday, January 31st, 2012
Here I go again, about to stroll down memory avenue and remember the good old days. I know times have changed a lot; we are in the age of twitter and Facebook where trolls reside in dark lit corners awaiting to ambush an unsuspecting suspect. I am no longer in Bole, I am like Dorothy and Toto, I have been windswept into a foreign land and I have no idea where I am going. The thing that gets me the most despondent is that some of the most vicious trolls that throw stones at my bald chinkila are women. What happened to the days where women had patience and love—now they are full of hatred and venom.
I remember back in Ethiopia, women were demure and loving. They let the men do all the bluster and bullshit, but when it came down to it, the women were in full control and they shook the men to the core. They were the true jegnas; they were More >
When the Milk Goes Bad
Jan 31st
No more NPR, no more talk show radio shows, from now on listen to BC Radio only and I will find myself in peace in the evenings.
by: Teddy Fikre written: Monday, January 30th, 2012
Sigh, here I go, about to go meto gena on another troll ass nigga. I don’t know why I keep doing it, mejemerya, I hate to use the word nigga. I hate that word so. Second, the world is full of troll ass niggas, I wish I could use my God given talent of writing and words to focus on the angels in my midst. But alas, I keep failing in this attempt to find peace and find myself constantly waging battles with lesser trolls. I don’t know, I guess my iris keeps searching for shit to be upset about and my cornea is too infected with the enmity frothing from the mouth of rabies infected hyenas to avoid the sights of hatred around me. I am trying hard to find solace, I ask God continuously to bless me with only thoughts of harmony.
It is because I see harmony that I decided to listen only to music and gave up talk shows and news radio on my More >
Dope Mathematics
Jan 30th
The money we waste on a daily basis could ensure that no children in Ethiopia or Eritrea die from malnutrition or HIV/AIDS.
by Teddy Fikre written: Monday, January 31st, 2012
Time for me to put on my Mos Def hat and turn to mathematics to count up the ways and errors of my life. I will add up multiple negative moments—and some upbeat times—to arrive at a number that I am sure will not be too positive. This article was inspired by a conversation I shared yesterday evening with my fraternity brother Robert Sinclair from Nasty Nu Psi. We were talking about the various things we have done in our lives, the times we have escaped the clutches of countless hazards and lived to tweet about it. We are the luckiest fellas in the world, while a guy like Ayana Werku Tegegnedies dies from liver disease before barely taking a sip of liquor; we continue to lead healthy lives indifferent to the dangers around dark lit corners waiting for us. This world, it is cruel and uncaring, the good ones die young and the sinner live for an eternity.
It was at this point I conveyed to Robert that my ass was dead More >
Church of Tewodaj Teddy Fikre
Jan 29th
Nope, I won’t ask you for 10%, I will not ask you to stand and sit 45 times, and most definitely will not insist that you convert to Teddism at the of my sermon.
by Teddy Fikre written: Sunday, January 29th, 2012
Welcome family to a new church called Tewodaj Teddy Fikre. By no means am I the priest, pastor, or Abba. I am just a deeply flawed man who is seeking in Him guidance and forgiveness. I will not wear false pretenses nor will I wear a purple robe in the guise of the King of Kings. I will most definitely not wear a crown or make people bow down to me and kiss my ring. I will be like the rest of the flock, I shall not stand on a pulpit and preach at my audience. I will simply sit in a circle with the rest of the sinners and read from the bible together and find in the pages the essence of love and patience.
To be honest, I have tried to go to church multiple times in my life. When I was in the midst of my deepest depression, I went to church often pleading with God to save More >
Habesha Mailbag
Jan 27th
Welcome to the Inaugural Habesha Mailbag
I am launching the Habesha Mailbag with the help of a few friends who lent me their time and creativity to come up with some questions, enjoy the gursha sewoch.
by Teddy Fikre written: Friday, January 27th, 2012
Well the moment has come for the launching of the inaugural Habesha Mailbag. Yes, I have changed with the time, I still don’t like the word Habesha, I prefer to be called Ethiopian. However, the word is not going anywhere, and if it serves as a bridge for Ethiopians and Eritreans to identify with a common name—well who am I to hold a grudge? So going forward, I shall call this the Habesha Mailbag.
So you ask, what is Habesha Mailbag. Well it was influenced by one of the writers I idolize by the name of Bill Simmons. On a weekly basis, Bill would take questions and comments from his readers and then reply back with a wit and humor that would make me literally make me laugh my Qit off as I was reading the article. Grant it, trying to emulate Bill Simmons is a tall order—after all, Bill was a writer for multiple late night comedy shows. But More >
A Beautiful Soul Named Soledad
Jan 27th
Maybe one day my daughter will end up breaking more glasses than you and when she does, I will tell her to salute sojourners of truth like Soledad.
by Teddy Fikre written: Friday, January 27th, 2012
Time for me to put pen to pad and write about another beautiful soul by the name of María de la Soledad Teresa O’Brien. I am sure you have seen her radiant smile on your television before and High Definition has done nothing but enhance Soledad’s radiance that much more. This lady is DOPE to the bone, no other news anchor captures my imagination more than Soledad each time I watch the news. Seriously, her beauty makes me forget for the moment of the inanities spewing from Newt Gingrich’s mouth or the duplicity forthing from Mitt Romney’s lips. This is quite an accomplishment, who knew that a journalist would be able to gloss over the enmity of the Tea Party.
But let me not minmize Soledad’s accomplishment to mere good looks. Soledad is an accomplished writer, journalist, news anchor, and the conscience of our collective minds. Born on September 19th, 1966, Soledad has gone on to accomplish great feats in such a short time that it makes More >