Essence of DOPE
The Risk of Defining One’s Identity as Pure
Irrespective of the language we speak, the accent that we speak it in, or the place we live in, no one person is better than another, and certainly no one person is purer than the next.
by Meeraf Taddesse. Posted: Thursday, August 12, 2010
Recently, I received a comment on a recent article of mine—“The Rules of Habesha Dating: Habesha Edition 1”—which has affected me in a great way. One particular reader, named “Abesha,” left a comment mentioning his opinion on the “‘real’ abesha” versus “pure Americans” that only look Habesha but clearly are not so in his eyes. I have to say that his comments really upset me. I was ready to quit writing articles altogether at one point because of his negative comments, but decided to push ahead. However, as I was writing another completely different article, I just could not get his comments out of my head. I decided to shelve that article and to, instead, write this article in response to his comment, which has hurt me so deeply. People in my life have known me as a very strong person. I am sure that they would be extremely surprised that one comment from a person, of whom I cannot even state a real name for, could hurt me so much. But, the truth is that it has.
More times than I can count in my life, I have to some degree been treated differently because my name sounded different or made fun of because of my family origins (my mother is Ethiopian and my father is Eritrean). I had many struggles that did not fit that of a typical American. I don’t know how many “’pure’ Americans” have been called an “African Bootyscratcher” or been called McGruff the Crime Dog because they did not see the beauty in my given name or even dismissed learning how to pronounce my name properly because they did not deem that I was worthy of such a courtesy. But, understand that the one place I would expect to be treated as an equal without any question as to what I should be labeled as or called would be within my own community.
Upon further reflection on Abesha’s comments, it occurred to me that there are others that may feel the same way as he does and that I, and others like me, may be viewed the same way. Having that thought cross my mind made me feel even more injured—knowing that the pain of somehow being labeled not “pure” is a burden that is shared by many. If I were to think the same way as Abesha, I would look down on every one of my family members and others who have emigrated from Ethiopia or Eritrea as being separate and, in some way, lesser than me. I choose to see things differently. I view them as my family and an integral part of my life. They are the people that I can learn from and share experiences with. I do not treat them differently because of where their birth certificates state they were born. I treat people a certain way based upon their actions. That is the way that I would hope everyone else would strive to treat me.
Yet, it seems that there are those among my own people that would deem my American accent as sufficient reasoning for me to, somehow, be perceived as less than they are. I have to say that such a notion has made me contemplate that maybe I am not the person that I have seen myself as my whole life. With a few sentences, this person that I don’t even know had temporarily destroyed my belief that I am who I say I am. My whole life, when people have asked me who or what I am, I have replied “Ethiopian.” Maybe that is not who I am, after all? Maybe I am just an American and nothing more? Perhaps, my entire family tree should begin at my birth date, thereby negating every single person who has ever had a hand in producing me, simply because I am perceived as a “pure American”, negating my ancestry and my family history.
I have studied a lot about my past and learned a lot about my family in the process. I have learned of my ancestral heritage linking me to Emperor Fasil on my maternal side, recognizing that I am the sum of many parts. In this way, I am no different than you. We all have relatives who have intriguing stories about their experiences with the Derg regime, fleeing in hopes of establishing a better life for their families, and their journey to Western countries, while encountering prejudicial and racial obstacles. These are the parts of me that are at the core of who I am and cannot be separated or dismissed, simply because one person, or a thousand people, say so.
I have always found our culture unique in that we, as a collective, have always been so accepting of Europeans who were willing to learn our languages and cultures. We accept them as one of us without question and take them in without insult or injury. Take a look at Alexander Pushkin, the Eritrean-Russian poet who is one-eighth Eritrean or Sir E. A. Wallis Budge of Great Britain, who was honored by Emperor Menelik for his Ethiopic History of Alexander. There are others that I could cite but it only confounds me further. Why does it look as if we are more accepting of those who are not from our community or have a very indirect lineage to Ethiopia or Eritrea more than we accept those who are one of us? Why are we more critical of our own? Why are we so hung up on ethnic identification of those that resemble us in so many ways, yet embrace those who are from entirely different continents? Why do we criticize those who are born of Ethiopian and Eritrean parents, simply because they were born in the country that their parents chose to immigrate to? It seems to be almost hypocritical of one to do so, especially when I see such comments coming from those who have chosen to immigrate to other countries themselves. What does it mean to be pure? Is it based on the way one pronounces a word, the religion one may practice, or the way one dances to certain music? Is there some purity test that I am not aware of?
Attitudes such as these have lead to prejudice against people when applying for jobs, the establishment of Jim Crow laws within the United States, and, at its extreme influence, the organized attempt at the eradication of a group of people because one group of people deemed the other as being unworthy. Beliefs such as the purity of a person are not only hurtful but they are cancerous. Considering such ideas can lead to so many actions that are not only deemed as inappropriate but can traumatize and be divisive. People live and die for beliefs, and in some cases, they even kill for them. These are reasons for people to reconsider such statements, especially when they are stated as quips. I say this because someone somewhere else just may take that person’s remark, not as some simple, witty, or clever response, but as a brick among the foundation of their beliefs.
I cannot change any one person’s mind and I cannot make a person put himself or herself in my position. I cannot make them feel the hurt and pain that such statements inflict upon others like me. I cannot even force them to remember how it may feel when others judge them upon superficial aspects of their being, such as a possible accent or even something as simple as where they were born. All I can do is make sure that no one’s definition of me supersedes my own definition of who I am, when someone chooses to put me in a box and label me as if I were not a person but some insignificant thing all because my parents chose to immigrate to another country to give me a better life.
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about 1 year ago
One thing your article fails to recognize is that dummies exist. They do. And they are more than happy to waste your time…..Just ignore and move on.
about 1 year ago
Much ADO about Nothing.
Would it help if I tell you that you were “PURE”…. Will it make a difference? Ask yourself, how you would you have reacted if he had told you that you were a pure ….. Would he have made your day. Would you have been offended? Pure? Not Pure? If you really think about it … there is nothing behind these words. Just a label, that points to nothing and mean NOTHING. One chooses to react to “empty” labels depend on what’s within (self). Please do not derive your Identity or self worth from labels. If I were you, I would look within and try to understand why you reacted to his comment the way you did. You should thank him for giving you the opportunity to know yourself. Why, in the first place would a label like that even offend you? Do you think that the reason why it hurt you the way it did was because you yourself believe in what he said. In a way he verbalized it for you. Could it be that you always thought of yourself as being “PURE” or questioned your “PURITY” (Ethiopian, Eritrean or American)? The only thing that I am asking you is not to be like him. Be a better person. Help him understand that pure is only reserved for water. You hurt because you have a good heart.
about 1 year ago
I have often felt the same sentiments as a member of the Habeshan Diaspora…my father was Eritrean and Congolese (by ethnicity..and Ethiopian nationally) and my mother is a proud Black American of obvious Southern heritage…the war (in which The infamous Derg took over) tore my father from his homeland to the shores of this land, in which he would not be respected as an individual with obvious talents only because he was not born into the culturally or racially privileged classes of America. Because my mother was forced to raise her “Halfrican” (half-African) child by herself,I was raised in Central Harlem, which led me to become one of the few Africans around…my Black American mother always taught me of my heritage as an African,to be proud of it,despite my father’s abandonment of us…and so I am…however,I too have faced the discrimination from other Habesha who don’t quite know how to categorize me when they see me,because I look like them,and they recognize the historical heritage of the Coptic Cross of Lalibela I wear faithfully,yet when I open my mouth my dialect whispers of Georgia’s Magnolia trees and Arkansas’ deep swamps…growing up I belonged not only to the groups of Black American children who taunted me because I was one of those “people from the country of starving people”…but also to NY Habesha who snubbed my joyous expressions of oneness in Ethiopian restaurants and Habeshan cultural venues…I continue my search for my past and have resolved that above all else…I AM a child of God…I have also resolved the ignorance on the part of Habesha to draw this line of “purity” because regardless of whether or not we live in Sweden,the UK, Germany, America…or any other place…we are all children of the war(s)…I say this in respect to the violence that we have all allowed to continue to penetrated our existence…so let the dead remember and the living speak…on the travesties of war and ignorance…purity is a state of mental and spiritual well-being,not a bloodline…to even speak of it as such is to betray one’s own humanity…
about 1 year ago
Hello Meeraf,
After reading this article I had to go back and revise the comments on your first article. As to me what both, Dani and Abesha are saying is one and the same thing.
I do not think Abesha is compromising your identity, for which he has no right to do so, but he is trying to address the differences witnessed in youngsters grew up in different countries.
I agree one should not use words like PURE/IMPURE, neither should one judge another just on where he has grown, which we don’t have control of.
The main point is if I believe am an Ethiopian no one can take that way from me.
about 1 year ago
Hi Meeraf,
Nice article as usual.
But I do not think you are scincere when you say ‘I am hurt because someone called me PURE/IMPURE’. You also stated that famly and friends think you are a strong person. And to really found out you are hurt or upset in my opinion is overstatement. However, if your article is focusing on generally on the attitude of many egominded then again your peice of writing should be supported by imperical evidence. Because I find defining one’s identity rather common and does not see the risk at all- it is happening for centuries and generation after generation. Remember we are defined in so many levels depending on how you apply it such as for example Globally-African, National-Ethiopian, Regionally-Amhara, Loccaly-Gondere, District-Armachaw etc and if you had received Habesha’s comment in that respect you would not have wasted your energy try to get the bottom of it as you said which you did not eventually in my opinion.
Good work anway.
about 1 year ago
Hi Meeraf,
Girl- I have no words to describe how much I can relate to what you are saying. Check out something I wrote a year ago on this very topic:
http://www.bernos.org/blog/2009/08/27/who-are-you/
(read some of the discussions below as well.)
Until I read your piece I wanted to say “yeah but” to everyone who had all the right advice: no one gets to define you, forget the jokers who try to box you, etc., etc., etc….
I felt like no one got my point – it hurts. i feel more lonely when people deny my Ethiopianness. i feel like i have no home when my own people won’t claim me.
Reading your piece, though I find myself wanting to say what others are saying about only you get to define who you are. However, I feel your pain as well.
As I hear my thoughts written in your words, i want to say you are not alone. There are many of us “americanized” Ethiopians trying to be proud of our past legacy and our current identity. Like you said, that comes from you defining you in the way that seems real for you. I affirm that identity you create for you as well – even if you don’t need me to.
Also – I feel you represent exactly the voice we are trying to highlight in the book project mentioned. I hope you’d consider submitting something. This topic especially would be very fitting.
blessings,
Mahlet
about 1 year ago
If you confident enough on your humanity, sexuality ,personal identity..etc, there is nothing that shakes your base on who you are. Never and ever blame some one else for your weakness. When you write your opinion you should be confident enough to entertain all sort of views.
For me it is a reflection of your weakness to entertain the idea of shelving your wiring. Accept who you are with all social definitions and do not allow any one to shake it. Keep up “a genius is a genius, regardless of the number of morons belongs to the same race”.
about 1 year ago
August 14, 2010
Dear Meeraf Taddesse, translated (chapter renewed) that is what your name means in Amharic.
Here is a note that I always refer to as a yard stick. I hope it will help you to understand what is really important.
“REFLECTION” author unknown
Presented by Getachew W. Selassie
When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day,
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself
And see what the man has to say
For it isn’t your father, or mother, or wife
Whose judgment upon you must pass?
The fellow whose judgment counts most in life
Is the one staring back from the glass?
You may be like Jack Horner and chisel a plum
And think you’re a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you’re only a bum
If you can’t look him straight in the eye.
He’s the fellow to please. Never mind all the rest
For he’s with you clear up to the end,
And you pass the most difficult, dangerous test
If the man in the glass is your friend.
You may lead the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass.
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If you’ve cheated the man in the glass.
about 1 year ago
Thank you for reading. I appreciate all comments and just wanted to make sure that I took the time out to respond.
@Dinich…Thank you but the truth is that even though there are those that would choose to say something that would be hurtful many times over, it is my hope to encourage dialogue at all times. I want others to understand that what they say may be hurtful, in the case that they may not recognize the impact of what they are saying. We are all human and have the tendency to falter like anyone else. However, if they continue on, without taking the time to listen, understand that it is not just their loss but all of ours, as we have a people that are very diverse and that particular person should understand that they will continue to divide us with sentiments such as that.
@free man…I just want to say another thank you for understanding. I have reflected over your comments. Either way, “pure” or “impure” I would have felt that the comments were inappropriate. But, I write this because I dream that we, as a collective, will learn to appreciate our differences and commonalities. I agree with you. This person has given me the opportunity to know myself a little more and helped me to learn how to be a better person. It is my hope that I will always learn how to be more considerate of others and that when I fail to do so, that I will be able to learn from my mistakes. Thank you for taking the time out to understand what I was trying to do and where I was coming from.
@Petri…I honestly do not think that I could have said it better. The judgements must stop on all sides. I find it refreshing that you want to know more about your culture, as I have met some in your position, who have chosen to shun that opportunity. It is everyone’s choice to do so or not to do so, but I remember growing up with a female who would deny all claims to what her heritage was (her backstory was similar to yours), as it was very apparent and prominently displayed upon her facial features. She must have experienced what you were talking about. And, maybe I can understand a little bit more of what she was and probably still is going through. Thank you for giving me that chance.
@Dawit…Thank you for clarifying. Maybe Abesha did not mean for it to come across that way? I can accept that. But, when I read his words, I understood them as such, especially with his use of the words “pure” and “real.” But, I do think that perhaps his comments gave me a chance to address those who may feel that way. And so, I am thankful for that, too.
@Thomas…I thank you for reading. While am sorry that you feel that I was not sincere, I cannot do anything to prove my sincerity. It is what it is. While I would hope that others would take me for my word, I cannot make them believe my feelings. Feelings are not quantifiable components of one’s being. Therefore, there is no emperical evidence to prove or disprove them. One may only express those feelings in the hope that another will choose to listen and accept them. Either you can take it at face value or you can choose to reject them. If you have chosen to reject them, then I can do nothing to counter that. While it is true that we all may define ourselves in terms of region, cultural background, etc., it is still wrong to define someone as a “‘pure’ American” or “‘real’ Abesha.” You run the risk of ostracizing many with those types of comments and in the end, dividing all of us. So many tend to look at another Habesha and define him or her as to what his or her background: “He was nice for an Eritrean.” “She was not as pompous as the other Amharas I have met.” “That Oromo was much more intelligent than I expected.” These are simple comments that can be dismissed but, at the core, they hurt and divide. I have been in situations where some Eritreans have chosen not to speak with me but would have conversations with my friend because I did not look Eritrean enough for them or because I could not speak the language. But, mind you, they grew up here and so did my friend. On the other hand, I have known other Eritreans who were completely welcoming towards me and I have made great friends in the process. I would have missed out on something amazing had I chosen to put them in a box and label them based upon certain generalizations. The point of this article was to express how one person, namely myself, felt after negative comments were directed towards them, to explore how those comments can and have affected others in the past, and define what the possible outcomes can lead to if such attitudes continued. If I have not made that clear, then I am sorry that I was unable to do that for you. But, if even one person out of ten sees what I tried to accomplish, then I have succeeded.
@Mahlet…I have read your article and I can totally relate to a lot of which you are speaking. I, too, also use the word Habesha often to be more inclusive because I am aware that I want to ensure that all of us are included, Ethiopian and Eritrean. I would love to help your project and contribute with a submission but I have seen that the deadline has passed. Despite that, if you are still looking for written pieces, I will make the time to make that happen. I will email you at the listed email address. Thank you for supporting me in my choice to feel my pain but also being firm in the fact that I am the only person that can define me. I agree but, when I am writing, I want to be honest to those “weak” moments that we all feel, as well as be true to those “strong” moments. It is the balance in both that we will find the truth. I hope that I have shown that well.
@Zatu…Thank you. I understand your comment regarding weakness, but it is my believe that those weaknesses sometimes remind us that we are not indestructable and that it is necessary to know how to relate to others who have been put in the same type of situations. Those type of “weaknesses” create an opportunity for understanding and I will welcome that at all times. My hope is that I will be able to be honest in expressing myself in my writings because that is the type of writing that speaks to others. At the least, it it the type of writing that speaks to me. Yet, I will keep your comments in mind for the next time I feel so hurt by someone else’s comments that I consider rethinking writing.
about 1 year ago
Thank you, Getachew, for that poem. I agree with you. I must be happy with myself before others, else I will not be able to be satisfied…especially if I am aware that I have tried to be true to myself and do what I have known to be right.